Saturday, November 27, 2010

Drama, drama everywhere


Living with someone with Asperger's is to often live with drama, at least in my house.  There don't seem to be many small problems here.  We seem to specialize in BIG PROBLEMS.  Sometimes it seems like there isn't a problem so small that it can't be blown up into a huge, personal, high-volume, finger-pointing disaster that affects everyone within earshot.  The unplanned and unexpected are not welcome occurrences in our house.


We had some difficulty today in introducing something new to our son.  His aunt gave him her old PC on Thanksgiving.  He's been wanting his own computer for years, and even though he knows he won't be allowed to have internet access in his bedroom, he will be able to play selected games, movies, and do school work up there.  The problem is that whenever he gets something new, if it doesn't work exactly right the first time, he has a lot of trouble dealing with it.  Computers are the ultimate in "nothing is ever easy" gifts, because our son's not computer savvy, and doesn't understand why certain things take more time or don't work as well as they should or when they should.  (My husband is quick to blame Microsoft for a lot of software issues, and wishes we could just go out and buy Macs for everyone in the house.)  Anyhow, something didn't work right, and our son had a meltdown.  Then something else didn't work right, and he had another meltdown.  No matter how well we try to explain things to him or try to prepare him for dealing with the unexpected, the unexpected and unplanned always throw him for a loop.  For a parent, that's totally crazy-making, and frankly it makes me worry about how he'll handle things as he gets older and tries to be independent.  And the scary thing is, he's gotten better at dealing with surprises as he's gotten older.


We had a little weather drama today, which I actually enjoyed.  We had a heavy snow squall today on our drive home from Thanksgiving with our families.  It didn't accumulate much, but it was rather pretty - huge chunks of fluffy Christmas snow, blowing sideways and coating everything.  I'm glad we were most of the way home when it blew through, rather than driving along the high ground between the Finger Lakes, or on the thruway playing dodge-truck.