Friday, October 28, 2011

It's Amazing

- how quickly I can go from feeling like a competent teacher and reasonable parent, to feeling like I have no business being in a school, or raising my own children.  It's been that kind of week.  Behavior issues left, right, and center, 24/7, at home and at work, and seeing the best of teaching and the not so good every day.  (I haven't seen awful teaching, but this week was discouraging enough, thank you, I'm not going looking for it.)

Both kids have been grounded at various points in the past couple weeks.   Both have had meltdowns.  Both have had to have serious attitude adjustments.  My students have been off the wall, even many of the ones who are usually less needful of discipline.  Today was a rough ride all around and ended with a crash.  Safety Guy had a particularly difficult day that ended with unpleasant consequences.  My own attitude this week has veered from "I can do this," and "I think I'm doing pretty good under pressure," to, "What did I do wrong that my kids are being so foolish?" and "Why the heck did I have kids in the first place?"  Don't ask me how many new gray hairs I've gotten, since it's time to renew my color and I'm showing a definite "Bride of Frankenstein" dash of white at my temples.  Heck, I'm feeling rather like something from a scary movie lately, maybe I should just work with it.

Anyhow, it's been a very long week for my first solo teaching in so many years.  I think I hear a glass of wine calling my name after the kids are (finally, at long last) in bed.  I already got into the Halloween Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Good night, friends - maybe I'll have happier things to chat about in a day or two.

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there Laurel. I've worked in a special education school and sometimes they just have off days or even weeks :0(. Also, there will be some adjustment because sometimes students with disabilities just don't do well with change -- even the slightest one and subs always seem to get tested to the nth degree. I'm sure you know that. Sorry for stating the obvious. It's probably also an adjustment for your kids as you are working and that's a change for them. Keep on plugging. Wine, chocolate, and praying under your breath doesn't hurt either....

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  2. I did all three of your suggestions last night, Karen! It helped, as well as getting a long night's sleep. Today has been pretty mellow. I'm trying to help the students adjust as much as I can, but you're absolutely right - having me there is a change, and change is never a good thing in a special needs class (especially with some kids who react more strongly/negatively to change, or who are always ready to test any sub to the max because that's just their personality and M.O.). Still, I'm taking it a day at a time, and hoping the rest of 2011 goes quickly.

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