Thursday, March 31, 2011
I'm trying hard not to be down today, and it's not because of the weather. I like rainy days, especially rainy days in spring when you can smell the earth thawing and sprouting. (We'll ignore for the moment the explosion of pollen and mold spores that sends my allergies into overdrive from now through November.) I'll be driving my sister-in-law Teresa to the airport, and I'm looking forward to that too - I love spending time with her. She and the rest of my husband's family are flying to Ireland today for a package tour and a visit with my father-in-law's sisters. I'm a little sad that we can't go with them for this trip, but I'm not really down about it - it's just not our time to travel right now.
I know I'm unhappy at my lack of progress with my fitness goals. I'm off to a reaaallllyyy slow start, if a total plateau could be called a start at all. Moving forward is hard, when it feels like I'm just going in circles. Being out in the garden helps, though. I spent quite a bit of time outside yesterday, cutting down the winter-dry ornamental grasses, cutting off the last of the dead perennials, clearing leaves out of odd corners, moving a couple large containers to the front of the house by the front walk, repotting a couple houseplants, and generally taking inventory of how various things made it through the winter. If I just keep moving, I hope that I'll eventually see some positive results.
I'm a bit weirded out by applying for a substitute teaching position last week. Now I can just wait and see if they'll call me back. It's in the back of my mind a lot, and I wonder what I can do to bring in some extra money if the school doesn't call me back. Obviously I'll reapply in August, but for now, it would be nice to have some financial flexibility. I can't count on my art selling - that's more of a windfall than a certainty. Maybe I'll get some Easter sales. . . .
There's more than that going on, relating to counseling and spiritual matters, but I'm not sure I want to put that all out in public. However, I would appreciate your prayers and kind thoughts as I work through some of my own baggage. Spring cleaning of the soul, a renovation of the mind, a detox of the spirit. Time to haul some stuff out to the existential compost pile, and see if I can grow a crop of thankfulness out of recycled emotional weeds.