Sunday, August 5, 2012

Stormy Weather



A beautiful clear day, something I'd love to have for my family's emotional state.
(The Palatine Church, St. Johnsville, NY)

Some days I feel like I'm in the center of a storm.  Sometimes it feels like my family is spinning around me in various stages of anger and anxiety and frustration, and I'm in the middle trying to keep things from running me over and rushing out of control.

Has anyone else with family on the autism spectrum noticed how reactive they can be, and our families tend to be?  What I mean is, if everyone is on an even keel, things tend to stay that way, but as soon as one person loses their cool, everyone else goes down like dominoes.  It's like Newton's First Law of Motion combined with a string of firecrackers:  an object at rest stays at rest unless acted upon by an outside force, but once the first force happens, everything else goes to hell in a hand-basket.  And it seems that no one wants to be the first to back off, apologize, or stop escalating the conflict.  Someone always has to have the last word, to be RIGHT, to override the other people in the discussion by virtue of superior (or at least endless) argument or by sheer volume.  Someone always ends up in tears of anger or frustration or hurt.  And when the dust settles I can see the blast radius and aftershocks in my family, and it breaks my heart.

 We're having one of those days.  So, if you're so inclined, I'd appreciate your prayers. . . .