Monday, March 11, 2013

Beyond Beyond

I thought I was beyond a week ago.  I think I've gone past that point and then some.  Some things I can share (SG is having huge trouble at school) and somethings I can't (marriage stuff).  I feel like a circus performer spinning plates on tall sticks, frantically trying to keep everything from crashing around me.

So I'm having trouble concentrating and sleeping - stress, obviously.  Too much for my single soul to handle, so I alternately get busy with house and school stuff to keep at least a semblance of order around me, and sit in front of the computer and let my mind go blank, because thinking too much is easy - and depressing.  Escapism and prayer, focus and woolgathering, peaceful bits in a sea of turmoil, little victories and big struggles.  Such is life for me right now.

I don't want to go into all the details.  SG is having trouble in school, related to bullying and anger management issues.  Counseling isn't enough; a med change may be in order, and we'll be seeing his pediatrician next Monday.  The school isn't doing enough to quell the bullies, and presenting no alternatives other than to try to help Safety Guy control his own behavior.  I'm way past frustrated, and my husband is going to be calling the principal to put in his opinion.  I think Tech Guy thinks I'm being too nice about all this.  I keep trying to tell him that I'm stuck - I WORK there, I have to follow certain protocols and procedures, I can't talk about the other students to him, I have to get along with the other staff who work with our son.  There are some things I can't say (or at least can't say in the way he would like to say them).  I hope Tech Guy does write to or call the principal, who is a genuinely good administrator.  Sometimes it takes a man to talk to a man.

If you pray, please pray for SG for the rest of this week.  He's been so angry and frustrated that he's wanted to hit someone, and rather than hurt someone at school he's hurt himself.  He punched a wall in gym class today, rather than hit the trio of bullies picking on him, and bruised his hand.  Last week he almost put his knee though his bedroom door during a meltdown after a bad day at school.  He's been in more trouble at school in the past week than in the past year put together.