Sunday, January 19, 2014

Tipping Point

For a little while, I was optimistic that Safety Guy's struggle with being bullied at school had passed its peak.  This fall was a mixed bag, but still better than last spring, and we saw even more improvement for about a month before the winter break.  But, unfortunately, it was only a lull in the action.  The bullying, while diminished in scope (fewer people doing it - we're down to two main perpetrators), has simply become more covert.  Safety Guy is just as frustrated with school now as he was last spring, which means it's gotten pretty bad - again.

I'm not going to hash over details.  Our school has a serious bullying issue, and the upper administration has been reluctant to really crack down on the perpetrators.  On top of that, because of the covert nature of the bullying, it has been implied many times that Safety Guy is overreacting to nothing (which has, admittedly, happened - but that doesn't diminish the real bullying that has also been going on), or even making up the bullying.  As a result, Safety Guy rarely tells the teachers at school the whole story of what has happened in any situation.  He doesn't trust most of the adults there; he thinks they don't believe him, and that they won't do anything about it even if he were to tell them.  Things have gotten really bad for him since we returned from Christmas break, to the point that he's had thoughts of hurting himself because he feels so bad about himself.

This CANNOT go on.

We have an ongoing bullying situation negatively affecting our son.  We have a friendly witness (SG's friend H) who corroborates that these guys have been trashing Safety Guy behind his back as well as to his face in class and in the hallways.  Last fall we started the DASA process (NY anti-bullying legislation, to document bullying and notify parents of their student's involvement in it).  My husband is livid over this whole mess, and is turning in the completed DASA paperwork this week.  He's also taking SG to school on Tuesday, and meeting with the assistant principal.  I'm not sure what (if anything) will be sorted out then and there, since the most recent incident happened so late on Friday that by the time the AP and psych finished talking with SG about it, school had already been dismissed and the bullies had gone home.  But one thing is clear:  if this situation isn't resolved to the point that SG is no longer targeted and trashed every day, then I'll pull him and home school him for the second half of this school year.

I can't wait to get out of this district, for his sake.

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