Friday, May 2, 2014

Picking Up The Pieces

This week it seems like everything fell apart - at least for a couple days.  The short(ish) version is: 

I've busted my behind all week (and actually for several weeks of projects and packing) getting the house ready for the realtor to take another look at yesterday, and when he visited he had more suggestions for us to do this week.  We were clearly not ready in all the fine details, and I could have cried.  

The school has refused to provide homebound ed services for our son, ignoring letters from his pediatrician and his therapist recommending that he be taught at home or tutored off the school campus for the remainder of the school year.  Adding insult to injury, their letter referred to the "alleged incidents of bullying."  Obviously someone has been talking to a lawyer. . . .

Because of the school's refusal, my husband and I have decided that I will home school our son for the rest of this school year.  I sent the official letter of intent yesterday, and they'll have it today (certified mail).  I was afraid they'd call our son truant if I didn't get the letter in as soon as possible, since today would be the tenth class day out of school for him without an "acceptable" reason.

I'm having no success at all finding a place to rent in the school district that we want, that is both big enough and will allow pets.  I am extremely discouraged by the prospect of having to take a place that's too small just to get into the district, and possibly a place where we couldn't keep our pets.  

Safety Guy is very anxious, and having stomach upset and other physical anxiety symptoms as he deals with the aftermath of being pulled from school, and contemplating a move.  

We have to decide what to do about the school's refusal to provide homebound ed - legal recourse is possible, but I'm not sure what purpose it would serve other than revenge, since by the time we tried to force the school to do the right thing, we will have moved out of the district.  Frankly, we don't have the money for a legal battle.  The school is probably counting on us home schooling and sparing them the expense, and having to admit they've failed our son. 

It has occurred to me that this situation with the school could affect my future employment if someone at the school were to be vindictive (both my employment as a sub, which is short-term, or my employment elsewhere, which is another thing entirely).  District administrators talk, and I have no illusions left about the lengths bureaucrats will go to in order to CYA. . . .

I crashed this morning - I was just frustrated, upset, sad, angry, afraid, all the possible emotions around such a bunch of circumstances.  I had to just cry out to the Lord, and lay all of this in His hands.  I can't control the future, and I can barely control the parts of the present I'm supposed to be handling.  But life isn't hopeless, and I don't want to fall into despair.  The future is still there, and if I have to reinvent myself professionally, however that may be, I'll do it.  I'll get through the end of this school year, and we will move.  Our kids will be in a different school in the fall, we'll have a different place to live, and life will go on.  But, oh Lord, I'm struggling in the present and can't even predict the next few months (or even weeks or days) - give us wisdom and peace, and provide for our needs. . . .